It's my first Father's Day without a father: I never had to see happy posts about dad's without having one myself until now. But let it be said....
To all the men -dads- in my life that have played a pivotal role in who I am, and therefore what I've become, this is for you:
Some would say "It takes a village", and my own father wouldn't disagree. But I'd go as far as adding that it takes kindness from a marginalized group that is too often unfairly classified as unemotional, out of touch, or hurtfully regarded as an impenetrable wall.
The men, the real men, I've met in my tender 35 years of existence, deserve to be regarded as so much more than an uncaring side-note, or a fucking generic Hallmark card:
My biological father, who is gone too soon as of January (which still hurts of-so awful), taught me the art of bullshit and deep sarcasm. He gave into grace in his later years, and understood that he didn't raise me alone (special thanks to my grandparents who did the hardcore, philosophical work) without tugging on his conscience, creating excuses, taking credit, or inflicting narcissistic guilt reasoning. He knew it. He need not admit it, but he did. THAT TAKES A REAL MAN.
My un-biological (is that a fucking word?), but might as well be biological- paternal, Greek grandfather instilled within me a means to overcome, to always question my surroundings, to have compassion in those who didn't understand otherwise. To be upset even when you were challenged, but to rise above. Thanks to him, I can also brine olives from the backyard. He should be in the upper echelons of great Greek philosophers. Prove me wrong.
My biological paternal grandfather taught me the essence of stubbornness when it mattered; to plow through hardships and to understand that oppositions are often misunderstandings, but fuck 'em when they disagree. Do you, babe. There is greatness out there, but how bad do you want it? When He passed, it was the first of my many great men gone. But he will be the last I forget about. ALWAYS.
My first history instructor in Tennessee: Mr. Ross. My original college mentor. Despite his own hardships in the plenty, he instilled within me to never give up and that the world needs more female leaders; believing I could be the next even when I didn't believe in myself (though he outright disagreed with my lefty-leanings). I still hate Chicago style papers, but when I write one, I happily think of him correcting my footnotes. I miss him so.
My co-worker and my current 'work dad': Upon my fathers passing, he need not ask a million questions. He silently understood and hugged me while I tried my best not to cry on his shoulder. I had to choke on a throat knot for the rest of the hour, but it was more needed than he'll ever know.
My childhood bestie's dad: The mountain man -the true lumberjack- I needed in life, and the only man to date that could force me to hike miles to a BFE camping spot without a toilet. You will always make the best breakfast burritos, and I will forever respect your radio wave baseball games.
My Father-in-law: You took in a young girl when you had no reason to. She wasn't your daughter, but you treated her as such.
My husband: The best thing I could've asked for in this life of raising kids in a shit world; the co-parent by my side that is a way better parent than I could ever be. You make my job easier. They love you more. You will always shine bright like a Meinen...or diamond. However that stupid song goes
🥇
To all the men -dads- in my life that have played a pivotal role in who I am, and therefore what I've become, this is for you:
Some would say "It takes a village", and my own father wouldn't disagree. But I'd go as far as adding that it takes kindness from a marginalized group that is too often unfairly classified as unemotional, out of touch, or hurtfully regarded as an impenetrable wall.
The men, the real men, I've met in my tender 35 years of existence, deserve to be regarded as so much more than an uncaring side-note, or a fucking generic Hallmark card:
My biological father, who is gone too soon as of January (which still hurts of-so awful), taught me the art of bullshit and deep sarcasm. He gave into grace in his later years, and understood that he didn't raise me alone (special thanks to my grandparents who did the hardcore, philosophical work) without tugging on his conscience, creating excuses, taking credit, or inflicting narcissistic guilt reasoning. He knew it. He need not admit it, but he did. THAT TAKES A REAL MAN.
My un-biological (is that a fucking word?), but might as well be biological- paternal, Greek grandfather instilled within me a means to overcome, to always question my surroundings, to have compassion in those who didn't understand otherwise. To be upset even when you were challenged, but to rise above. Thanks to him, I can also brine olives from the backyard. He should be in the upper echelons of great Greek philosophers. Prove me wrong.
My biological paternal grandfather taught me the essence of stubbornness when it mattered; to plow through hardships and to understand that oppositions are often misunderstandings, but fuck 'em when they disagree. Do you, babe. There is greatness out there, but how bad do you want it? When He passed, it was the first of my many great men gone. But he will be the last I forget about. ALWAYS.
My first history instructor in Tennessee: Mr. Ross. My original college mentor. Despite his own hardships in the plenty, he instilled within me to never give up and that the world needs more female leaders; believing I could be the next even when I didn't believe in myself (though he outright disagreed with my lefty-leanings). I still hate Chicago style papers, but when I write one, I happily think of him correcting my footnotes. I miss him so.
My co-worker and my current 'work dad': Upon my fathers passing, he need not ask a million questions. He silently understood and hugged me while I tried my best not to cry on his shoulder. I had to choke on a throat knot for the rest of the hour, but it was more needed than he'll ever know.
My childhood bestie's dad: The mountain man -the true lumberjack- I needed in life, and the only man to date that could force me to hike miles to a BFE camping spot without a toilet. You will always make the best breakfast burritos, and I will forever respect your radio wave baseball games.
My Father-in-law: You took in a young girl when you had no reason to. She wasn't your daughter, but you treated her as such.
My husband: The best thing I could've asked for in this life of raising kids in a shit world; the co-parent by my side that is a way better parent than I could ever be. You make my job easier. They love you more. You will always shine bright like a Meinen...or diamond. However that stupid song goes
Call your dad on a normal basis.
DON'T WAIT FOR A HOLIDAY.
Tell them what they mean to you.
Don't skimp on the gushy bits.
Make them cry.
Make them laugh.
Buy them lunch.
If not for yourself or for them, do it for me.
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