It's been a long, long time since I've felt like a "typical" army wife, but then today happened.
After over a decade of being in this army world, I less and less feel like an 'army wife'.
Maybe this is because I choose to live off post? Maybe it's because I don't associate with an FRG groups or any sort of wives clubs? Maybe it's because I have no friends, let alone any real close army spouse friends? Or maybe it's because I am SO MUCH more than an army wife.
I don't like to be called an "Army wife". Why? Because my husband's job doesn't warrant what I am, nor who I am. If he were a city trash man, would I dub myself a "trash wife"? Um, no. Not saying a career in the sanitary arts isn't a good job, but you get my point.
I have a degree. I am educated. I am a mother, a daughter, a sister. I read and write. I have done some shit, seen some shit, and have been some shit. I have lived a life outside of the military world.
But one thing is for certain: There is a stigma that comes attached to being the spouse of military man, for whatever reason. And generally speaking, military spouses do have quite a few things in common.
The only thing that constantly reminds me that I am an army wife is the fact that I occasionally wind up at the commissary for the cheaper meat selection, and that my husband wears the uniform.
But when he's gone, which is often, it's rare I find myself keeping in mind of who I am married to. I usually just feel like a displaced citizen of wherever I am, with a husband that has a traveling job.
To us, of the older spouse variety, my husband's job is a job.
To everyone else, I am a army wife because of HIS job.
This weekend was funny. I was hardcore reminded of my army wife existence, and I can't help but to laugh and reflect, though it contradicts most of the above. There are many aspects of this world that I cannot deny.
Are you even an army wife if...
This.
Always.
I mean, I always knew that the other side of the world is ahead of the United States/North America. All other sides of the world outside of the US, in fact.
But holy hell, if you don't know different time zones as a military spouse, you're in for a treat.
Better yet, some areas, such as Afghanistan, time zones even have an extra half an hour. Weird.
There are lots more "Are you even an army wife if...?" statements I could go on about, but the above seem to be the most common I have noticed and have experienced myself.
If you have a big one I missed, besides the obvious (like having no spouse for months during a deployment or living far from home), please share!
After over a decade of being in this army world, I less and less feel like an 'army wife'.
Maybe this is because I choose to live off post? Maybe it's because I don't associate with an FRG groups or any sort of wives clubs? Maybe it's because I have no friends, let alone any real close army spouse friends? Or maybe it's because I am SO MUCH more than an army wife.
I don't like to be called an "Army wife". Why? Because my husband's job doesn't warrant what I am, nor who I am. If he were a city trash man, would I dub myself a "trash wife"? Um, no. Not saying a career in the sanitary arts isn't a good job, but you get my point.
I have a degree. I am educated. I am a mother, a daughter, a sister. I read and write. I have done some shit, seen some shit, and have been some shit. I have lived a life outside of the military world.
But one thing is for certain: There is a stigma that comes attached to being the spouse of military man, for whatever reason. And generally speaking, military spouses do have quite a few things in common.
The only thing that constantly reminds me that I am an army wife is the fact that I occasionally wind up at the commissary for the cheaper meat selection, and that my husband wears the uniform.
But when he's gone, which is often, it's rare I find myself keeping in mind of who I am married to. I usually just feel like a displaced citizen of wherever I am, with a husband that has a traveling job.
To us, of the older spouse variety, my husband's job is a job.
To everyone else, I am a army wife because of HIS job.
This weekend was funny. I was hardcore reminded of my army wife existence, and I can't help but to laugh and reflect, though it contradicts most of the above. There are many aspects of this world that I cannot deny.
Are you even an army wife if...
- ...your family back home doesn't know your correct/current address?
Never fails. I get calls every November regarding our current address (for Christmas card purposes). Yes, I still live here. No, I won't live here in two-three years. Write my address down in pencil, would ya?
- ...you have never ate frozen dinners for a week straight?
I know. Gross.
But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Deployments suck. But so do full time jobs, picking up kids, taking said kids to appointments, track meets, after school activities, and then seeing your own dentist and doctors, meeting your job demands and meetings, keeping up with familial issues and such.
If you're lucky, you may even crack open a can of vegetables on the side and call it a well-rounded meal. But you know, adding a can of veggies to a frozen dinner is the deluxe version of a meal. Very rare during a deployment or an extended rotation.
Oh, and sometimes frozen dinner is too inconvenient. Thank God for ramen noodles, and no, not because we're poor. Because we're fucking tired.
- ...you don't recite your spouse's social security number for everything?
True story, I once wrote my husband's social security number down as my own SSN for a job opportunity background check.
We are forced to recite this for damn near everything. So much so, that us army spouses forget our own SS numbers.
- ...you haven't had to count time?
This.
Always.
I mean, I always knew that the other side of the world is ahead of the United States/North America. All other sides of the world outside of the US, in fact.
But holy hell, if you don't know different time zones as a military spouse, you're in for a treat.
Better yet, some areas, such as Afghanistan, time zones even have an extra half an hour. Weird.
- ...you don't own a carpet cleaning device/machine?
Because keeping the carpets fresh to avoid extra move out fees is real.
This is what I laughed at today.
I got tired of looking at the recent snow season stuck to my entry way carpet.
It's June, people.
So today, I bought a carpet cleaner. It's been a LONG time since I have owned one (like, ten years), but it took me back to my husband's corporal days and living on-post in Fort Lewis; long before it was JBLM.
Everyone in on-post housing is SO FUCKING scared of having dirty carpet upon move out because that's where the privatized companies collect big $$$ from families before a PCS (permanent change of station), or simple speak, another army move. It's always the carpet the incurs thee most costs. Always.
On-post, many households own a carpet cleaning device above a coffee maker or even a cast iron skillet. No joke.
- ...you've never stressed about looking over/under dressed at a military ball?
This is thee worst.
Do I wear a fluffy neon green tulle ball dress that gets me noticed by every astronaut orbiting the earth, or do I stick to classic, yet boring black?
Finding a ball dress is HARD stuff. Color depends on season, in my humble opinion. Then there's the style of the dress, worrying about looking club trashy or overwhelmingly modest. Plus it must pair with your date's look: A military uniform. Current uniform for ball = navy blue.
Black it is.
There are lots more "Are you even an army wife if...?" statements I could go on about, but the above seem to be the most common I have noticed and have experienced myself.
If you have a big one I missed, besides the obvious (like having no spouse for months during a deployment or living far from home), please share!
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