AGHHHH!!
*tears hair out*
This post is also relative to the people who are incoming/pcs-ing to Graf/Vilseck here in Bavaria. A few things you should know about setting up accounts before you do!
So I will be posting a couple posts today...maybe (it was a long day of learning weird tidbits about a OCONUS to CONUS move).
The reason I'm tearing my hair out didn't happen until later in my day, but I'll get to that in a second.
When we arrived here, like many folks do, we went to the monopoly cable/internet provider, aka TKS. We also took a trip next door to the cable company and went to the cell phone monopoly store, aka Telekom (or as most of us call it "T-Mobile").
But before any of them would allow us to open an account with them, we had to open a bank account here first. They did NOT accept our bank from home to use for opening new cable/cell provider accounts nor to pay monthly bills, but we still use our back home bank for our paycheck deposit banks and everything else while living here. -USAA, if you're wondering.
The cable and cell companies here in Germany wanted a bank that's physically located here, and there are only two to choose from: Bank of America: Community Bank & Service Credit Union.
Down to Bank of America we went (it's technically a 'Community' branch ran by BoA, available to us overseas folks at just about every duty station in Europe).
dodcommunitybank.com
So once our account was open at Community Bank, we connected it to our main account, USAA, so that we could easily transfer funds to the community account when needing to pay our cable and cell bills. For the record, we never needed to use the community bank account for anything else while living here (for those of you incoming folks who may read this)...well, except the occasional ATM trip, and cash euro exchange.
And finally, we were able to obtain a cell phone agreement and a cable/internet provider.
Cable & Internet
Here's the deal:
The cable people are jerks. Yeah, I know, they're all thieves around the world. I got that. But...if you're a newbie coming to Germany, do not take this next piece of advice with a grain of salt:
SAVE YOUR DAMN PRODUCT BOXES. ALL OF THEM.
Our cable boxes came in blue, slim cardboard boxes, along with cable cords, and power adapters. We threw the cardboard packaging boxes away, thinking nothing of it.
Well, a couple months ago, our cable box (the actual cable receiver thingy) went insane on us. We took it into the TKS provider store in an attempt to exchange the faulty equipment and the lady yelled at us, stating she needed the ORIGINAL box we got it in back to do a return. We told her we threw it out and she said, and I quote:
"When you rent a car, you wouldn't return it without a steering wheel, would you? What makes you think we take cable products back without box?"
WOW. Really?
Talk condescending to me, baby.
She wasn't a nice woman.
At that point, I had learned that if you lose the box or throw it away, they will charge you for a cardboard box/repackaging fee when it comes time to return a faulty product OR to PCS/move.
I'm just glad I saved the smaller, wifi adapter boxes and crap. A few less things to pay for later. GRRRR.
To close the account is pretty simple. You bring all equipment in (with the ORIGINAL boxes, cables, cords, etc,). You can pay the final amount in store that you owe and close the account. Walk away and done.
Next: Cell phone assholes...not so simple.
We had T-Mobile in the US long, long ago. Like over ten years ago. We hated their service and their customer service. No offense to those who love it. Maybe it's not so bad now-a-days? I dunno.
BTW, T-mobile here in Germany (or Telekom is the official company name) is not affiliated with the T-Mobile in America.
Everyone gets T-mobile around here in Bavaria. Okay, maybe 98% of people have T-Mobile. There are smaller companies to choose from, too, but they are more so pay-as-you-go companies with nontraditional plans and such. Like boost mobile or cricket in the states...
After a little over a month from landing here in Germany, we decided to ditch the minute plan basic phones and get a traditional contract with smart phones.
We signed a 2 year contract in September 2014, knowing we'd be here for 3 years. Before signing, we asked what would happen once the 2 yr contract was up and the answer we got was that it goes to a month to month plan, just like US carriers.
Cool. Good deal.
*NOTE: The service agreement contracts, regulations, rules, etc, are written in German.
Skip ahead 34 months. Just a little under three months shy of 36 months or three years from when we opened our cell contract agreements. Regardless, we are well over the 24 month contract.
We go to the cell store today, same place we got the phones and contract. They tell us that after the two year contract it goes into a one year contract, NOT month to month like we were initially told.
Oh, and the kicker:
We're roughly two months away from flying. We thought that since it was a month to month contract (like we believed all along) we were ahead of the game by going in to talk to them now about closing our cell phone accounts and turning off service on the day of our flight.
WRONG.
Today they told us that since we didn't come in at least three *full* months prior to our PCS time to inform them of our move, they will have the right to charge us until the "one year" contract is up. NICE.
So we fly out in early August. Now we will be paying for the full month of August AND September (this supposed year long contract ends September 30th).
We will be paying $300 bucks for two months of cell service we won't be using.
Lovely.
So even though we thought we were ahead of the game by going in two months before our flight and PCS, we were actually too late, by daysssss. Not weeks. By a few days.
If we had went in just a couple days ago and informed them of our impending move in August , we would've avoided paying the extra $300 for services we will not be using.
I'm sorry to vent in a blog post, but it's kind of bullshit.
What difference does the 3 months or 2 months before moving really make to a company that's already making loads of money?
And although someone out there reading this right now may be saying "Well, you should've taken the contract to JAG for interpretation before signing it" I'd like to ask you this: Have you ever taken a cell phone contract to JAG before signing it?
Didn't think so.
Yes, for the people who are curious and don't understand legal mumbo jumbo, you can have someone in legal go over these things with you. But in our defense, I don't know a single person here who has taken their German cell contract to JAG to have it thoroughly translated. I guess some of us learn the hard way, which is why I'm writing this!
If you are not extending to stay in the area or Germany, go into your nearest Telekom store at least 3 *full* months prior to your known DEROS date; even before you get orders. Tell them you want to shut it off at such and such date, rather than waiting on orders that can put you in our boat, or worse. The associates there do not care or have pity on you if you say that you just got orders and have to move in three weeks. Rules and regulations trump army orders at Telekom.
As for those who will PCS before the initial 2 year contract is up, I don't know what that all entails, to be honest. I just recommend that no matter who you are or when you'll be leaving that as soon as you know a PCS/ETS is on the horizon, you go in and talk to these thieves. Don't wait for orders or assume that you've got time to figure it out.
Closing the bank account:
This is kinda easy.
You go in and close the account.
However, if you are needing to pay bills after you move like we do (thanks, T-mobile) they can set up a temporary account for you, closing it after your bills are satisfied, if that makes sense.
So we'll be leaving a few hundred bucks in our account for T-mobile to collect. They will not let us pay the remainder in full and call it done before we leave (which I prefer to do).
Honestly, I'd rather not pay the bill at all and pull something sheisty like the cell company did to us, BUT we're not trying to screw up our credit with the possibility of buying a house soon.
Now I'm not sure what happens if there is money left in the temporary account after satisfying the bills and it closes, but I assume because it's tied to Bank of America that we could collect from a BoA in the area of our next duty station.
I have to go back into the bank and clarify a few things. Once I do, I'll update here.
Okay, y'all! I feel a little better about the dumb cell phone crap now that I have hopefully warned someone out there! I don't want that company taking an extra penny from anyone else.
Funny enough, before writing this, we got into contact with some folks that we know who moved from this place before us. Every single person said this happened to them, too. I guess when you're on your way out, you don't think to mention it to others, or maybe they wanted everyone else to learn the hard way like we are right now.
Personally, I gain nothing by keeping the cell phone moving scam to myself, and the company gains everything.
Up next: Housing and final clearing stuff
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